SAHM Vs Working Mom: Looking At Each Perspective

 Hey! How are you all doing? 

I never imagined that I was going to be a SAHM, I had always thought that I would graduate from college and start my career. Well I DID graduate from college with a teaching degree but life as I knew it changed all my plans. I began teaching after graduation but then when I had Lilly and Hudson it was better for me to stay home. We figured that if we could afford it then I was going to stay home and raise our kids. I had all these preconceived thoughts of what staying home looked like, but I HAD NO IDEA! Being a SAHM is the hardest job I have ever had, but I wouldn't change raising my children and seeing all the amazing milestones for anything! I am eternally grateful that I have this opportunity. 

Whether you are a SAHM or you are working outside of the home, we all are WORKING! Motherhood is tough, no matter what side of it you are currently in. 

In today's post I am talking about each side, each perspective. I will be sharing my thoughts as a SAHM and I have two family members who will be giving their thoughts as working mothers. I hope today's post makes you feel less alone and more in touch with so many other mothers out there who are going through the same thing as YOU!

Thank you too mom.com who had these great questions.

Questions From The SAHM's Perspective:

Me: A teacher turned Stay At Home Mama!

Do you fight about money more than you did before?

We do not fight about money, we just try to figure out more creative ways to save our money. We are actually doing fine with me being home because we don't have the cost of daycare.

Are you resentful of your working spouse?

No, I am not resentful because we made this choice as a family. I wanted to stay home with the kids, do I get exhausted, lonely, worn out? YES, but that's okay, we all do! All moms feel this at some point.

Does your working spouse feel all of the financial burden, and is resentful of you?

He does feel all the financial burden because he is the sole provider and we both understand that. He is not resentful of me at all. 

Are you staying at home because of someone else's pressure? Spouse, parent in-law?

No!

Are you worried about going back to work some day after being out for so long?

Yes! I am worried, nervous, anxious and a little scared to be honest to go back to work. I have been out for so long I was expecting to have all these feelings. On the other hand, I am excited to do something for ME again, I love to teach and I hope to get back to that one day.

Do you have equal say in financial decisions?

Yes!

Do you feel you made the right choice?

Definitely!

Do you feel satisfied?

Yes!

Questions From The Working Moms Perspective:

Lisa: My sister who is a Education Administrator 

How much money do you spend on childcare? Is it more than either parent's salary?

I only have one child in child care full time and due to my place of employment, she is able to attend for half the typical tuition rate. Child care doesn’t impede on my monthly income. 

Are you working for money, or for satisfaction? Both?

I have never not worked outside of the home. I feel that I am a very driven person and I enjoy meeting new people, learning new skills, and progressing in my professional life. When I first got married money was very tight so I had not other choice to work outside of my home but I do have a choice now and I would still choose to be a working mom.

Do you have dinner with your kids every night?

Yes, I do. There are some nights when I may have to work over time but they are seldom. 

Have you missed a moment in your child's life that you regret?

Regret- No. My husband is very hands-on and we share child raising responsibilities equally. He may need to take our oldest child to a game while I am taking the younger children to their activities or appointments. I am in a position where if I need time off, then I take time off. 

How do you deal with the working mom guilt?

I used to feel guilty for being a working mom when my children were younger but it helps that I am in a profession that advocates for high quality early care for all children. I know many educators and I have been fortunate to have my children at child care centers that are top-level and with teachers that truly love and adore them as if they were their own children. 

For high quality early care for all children. I know many educators and I have been fortunate to have my children at child care centers that are top-level and with teachers that truly love and adore them as if they were their own children. 

Are you working outside the home because of someone else's pressure?

I work outside of the home because I enjoy my career, and I also enjoy the financial freedoms it affords my family and I. Extra trips, house improvements, hosting family events, those things are all much easier with two full time salaries.

Do you feel you made the right choice?

Yes, I’m confident in my choice to be a working Mother.

How do you do it all?

My husband and I share the responsibilities of our family and support one another fully. 

Christina: My step-mother who is a public affairs specialist!

How much money do you spend on childcare? Is it more than either parent's salary?

I spend zero dollars on childcare currently. When I did, it was never more than 1/6 of my salary. Cost of child care was a factor in not having more kids, but that was our choice.

Are you working for money, or for satisfaction? Both?

I first worked to support my family because for whatever reason my partner did not would not. As a result my work developed into a career that I enjoyed and offered good life work balance. It may not have been what I had in mind initially, but it turned out to be the best thing that gave me freedom and independence so I would not be trapped in a bad relationship and enabled me to provide for my children. When I had the opportunity to not work, I chose to continue to earn a pension. I enjoy my job. It is very satisfying. Ideally, I wouldn’t mind doing it part time but it is a full-time position so for now, that’s what I do.

Do you have dinner with your kids every night?

Up until the pandemic we ate dinner together every night. Then I had to work overtime one night each week.  That became an opportunity for my husband and our son to have their own date night and each week they would get take out together. The pace has slowed in the past weeks and I only miss dinner one to two nights per month.

Have you missed a moment in your child's life that you regret?

No!

How do you deal with the working mom guilt?

How do I deal with working mom guilt?  Like a mature responsible adult and experience. If there is an event in my child’s life that I need to be a part of like, first days of school, field trips, sports, I take time off and participate or rely on my partner. We make sure our child’s needs are met. Early on when my children were infants and I had to leave them with a caregiver to return to work, I felt a lot of guilt. Then when I returned to collect my child they were fine and I realized the guilt was my own issue and my children were in fact perfectly fine. They had structure and activities and playmates. I realized they were okay and that I didn’t need to feel bad.

Are you working outside the home because of someone else's pressure?

No, I do not work outside the home because someone else’s pressure.

Do you feel you made the right choice?

Yes, I made the right choice.

How do you do it all?

You just do the best you can. 

I hope this post helped you all in some way! Just know that no matter how you are parenting your children you are doing the best that you can and that's all that matters. I want to say thank you to my sister and step-mother for allowing me to post your journey as a working mother. I very much appreciate your perspective and I am sure a lot of other mothers do as well. 

I hope you all have a beautiful day!

XO

Kim